Why Dads Matter in Homeschooling (Even If You're Not Teaching Every Lesson)

By: Brandon Judy

I’m a homeschool dad. That probably sounds more normal now than it did 30 years ago. But here’s the thing, I’m not the primary teacher in our home. My wife carries the bulk of the daily homeschool responsibilities. And yet, I believe this wholeheartedly: dads absolutely matter in homeschooling.

Not just as providers. Not just as cheerleaders from the sidelines. We matter in the formation, direction, and spiritual foundation of our children’s education, even if we’re not the one teaching phonics at 10 a.m.

So if you’re a dad reading this, or a mom hoping your husband reads this (go ahead and forward it; I don’t mind), I want to offer a few thoughts from the trenches. Not from a place of perfection, but from experience.

1. Your Presence = Stability

When I was growing up homeschooled, my dad worked a full-time job. He didn’t sit next to me doing spelling tests or correcting essays, yet I never doubted that he was invested in our education.

He was present. He showed up. He believed in what my mom was doing and supported it fully. That gave us as kids a sense of security and consistency that no curriculum could have provided.

Dads, even if you can’t be there during the school day, your presence: spiritually, emotionally, relationally, grounds your family in purpose. When you value homeschool, your kids do too.

2. You Don’t Have to Teach Every Subject to Lead

There’s a misconception that in order to be “involved” in homeschooling, you have to take over science or handle math. And yes, if that’s your strength, go for it. My wife always sends the kids to me with math and Bible questions.

But leadership doesn’t always look like a lesson plan. It looks like asking your kids what they’re learning at dinner. It looks like reading aloud with them before bed. It looks like doing devotions in the morning, so your kids see it and build the habit themselves. It looks like praying with your wife when the day’s been hard (I could do better at this). It looks like saying, “How can I help?” and meaning it.

Sometimes it’s being the one to say, “Let’s all pile on the couch and read another chapter”—especially if it’s a Total Language Plus book you secretly enjoy too.

3. You Are Discipling—Whether You Know It or Not

Education is never neutral. Every single day, our kids are being shaped, not just academically, but spiritually and morally. The world is loud, and it’s offering them a very different view of what matters.

Homeschooling gives us the opportunity to disciple our kids intentionally, in ways traditional school settings can’t (nor do I want them to).

I want my kids to know that their identity doesn’t come from grades or sports or college admissions. It comes from Christ. That’s not just something we “teach.” It’s something we live.

And when your kids see you engaged, interested in what they’re learning, growing in your own walk with God, and investing in your family’s homeschool journey, they learn what true success really is.

4. Support Your Wife Like It’s a Full-Time Calling—Because It Is

If your wife is homeschooling, she’s likely juggling about 37 different roles every day: teacher, cook, counselor, referee, curriculum planner, and emotional support human. She needs you in her corner.

Not just to say, “Good job, honey,” (although that matters too), but to shoulder the spiritual and emotional weight of what homeschooling is: a calling. A ministry.

Ask her how the day went. Step in where you can. Be a safe place for her to process the hard stuff. Encourage her when she feels like she’s failing. And remind her of the “why” when the days are long.

5. Your Voice Has Power—So Use It Intentionally

Here’s something I’ve learned: my words carry a different kind of weight with my kids. Not more important than my wife’s, but different.

When I affirm them, they stand a little taller. When I say, “I’m proud of you,” or “You handled that with maturity,” or “You worked hard on this,” it sticks.

So use your voice. Speak life. Speak truth. Speak encouragement. That’s homeschooling too.

Final Thought: You Don’t Have to Be Perfect—Just Present

You don’t have to know how to diagram a sentence or explain the finer points of long division. You just have to show up.

Homeschooling is not just about academics. It’s about building a family culture of faith, curiosity, love, and purpose. That can’t happen if dad is checked out. But it can thrive when we engage, even in small, simple ways.

So dads: step in. Be present. Lead with humility. Love with strength.

Even if you’re not teaching every lesson, you have a lesson to teach.

And your kids are watching.